hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
