do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
