So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
How does one acquire holy water?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
