just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
