xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
