This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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