You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
