if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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