I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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