Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
