i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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