Already got asked if we're dating
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
