i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
