Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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