Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Mom said you looked used
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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