Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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