so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
