P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
