oh god the rape fog is back!
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
