angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
