And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
