Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin

(509): View more from Washington

and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"

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(847): View more from Illinois

how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?

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(757): View more from Virginia

tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow

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(213): View more from California

I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus

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(712): View more from Iowa

That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"

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(720): View more from Colorado

I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.

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