I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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