That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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