one two three fourrrrnication!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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