Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
