apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
