We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
