After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She even gives head with a lisp.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
