i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
