I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize