Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
