at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
