Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
