ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
