I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
