Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
