I'm so fucking centered right now
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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