shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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