now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
