I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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