this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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