Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
