and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
