Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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