I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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