I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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