I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
