Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
