My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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